"TROLL", aka Ab-Qvos Daimler Double-Two
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NEW OWNER WANTED!
Elderly woman, 80 years or older |
To tell you a little about myself, I am an innocent little dachshund, born 23.11.93, seeking a new owner. My current owner is a mountain lunatic, drags me up early morning and takes me to work, where I have to function as a mental support engineer for computer oddballs. Much worse is that every evening he has to go hiking some steep mountain. And I have to come along, as he thinks I would be sad by staying home alone. Why don't those humans understand dog nature?
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My current owner thinks my grey beard is cute, while he really should understand that I'm getting old, needing comfort and tranquillity. Like most dachshunds, I always make him super-annoyed by refusing to follow even the simplest instructions. Like climbing an ugly-steep mountain. Unfortunately, I always end up in the backpack, where space is limited. And while he puts on enough clothes in evil winter, I'm stuck naked in the backpack. Shivering my fur off. I bark when I see another dog in a nice and warm sweater, but he always tell me to shut up.
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My real name is Daimler Ab-Qvos Daimler Double-Two, and by this name I introduce myself to the she-bitches. They think my name has a certain "schwung", and I'm allowed to sniff the goodies. But then my evil owner yells "Troll", and the ladies disappear in an instant. Apparently, I'm named after an oil rig. AIN'T THAT C U T E ... I come from a family of good reputation, recognised for our tracking skills. As such, be prepared to put some dollars on the table during the takeover. My owner doesn't care about the money, but it's crucial for my self-esteem.
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So, as you can see, I'm in desperately need for a change of climate. I don't want to drop dead on a ridiculous mountain. I can understand that those bigger dogs need some level of exercise. BUT I AM A DACHSHUND! Please educate this guy! I promise I won't chew on shoes, rip the curtains, or any thing of that sort. Just give me a large bed, a cosy blanket, late mornings, hot meals and plenty of chocolate. My positive sides, like lying still, far outweigh my negative sides, such as snoring, loud-dreaming, bad breath, and being stubborn beyond comprehension. Thank you in advance, Ab Qvos Daimler Double-Two, aka "Troll" PS. To better understand my story, check my Picture Gallery. I tried to get my owner to name his web-site "Mountain Madness", but the name was already taken. If you want to see what this lunatic has dedicated his life to, click here. These are my parents. I had a mighty hard time remembering these long names:
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